Friday, January 23, 2009
This picture was taken in December 2007 in Utah.
Lance was taking my Mom and Dad to see Jerry Bott (the missionary who baptized my Dad) in Castle Dale, Utah.
I often imagine what my Dad was thinking as he suffered so long with cancer. I am sure he was wondering things like "How long do I have left?", "What do I need to get done before I go?", "How will my family cope when I am gone?" I do know his greatest worry was my Mom. He knew all his children were married with children and they were happy but he was always wondering about my Mom. He told me on many occasions she was his greatest worry and made me promise to look after her. I made that promise and intend to keep it.
He never asked the question "Why me?" In fact he would say "Why not me?" He never complained. He knew that whatever he would go through would be for his own good and God would never give him anything more than he could bear. I on the other hand did ask the questions...."Why did my Dad have to get the cancer?" "Why did he have to suffer?" I have come to the conclusion that "WHY" questions always lead to more and more questions and we don't have the answers. I like to focus on "WHAT" questions. "What if Dad had passed away when I was much younger?", "What if Dad had not been the great man he was?" "What am I going to do continue his legacy?" and finally "What am I going to do, to get to where he will be?"
These questions can be answered much more easily.
I realize there are questions that cannot be answered just now but one day I know we will find out all the answers to our questions. I am just so grateful for the knowledge I have that I will see and live with my wonderful Father one day.
My Dad himself answered that question for me.
"We love and miss you Dad"